Our Children – Part 1

Children are one of the true joys of life. They also can be a source of angst, frustration, pride and every other emotion that can exist between 2 human beings! Susie and I are very blessed to have 3 great kids. It's amazing how different they are, and yet how similar. How each of them has a different direction in life and goes their own way, but how connected they are. As an only child, being the father of 3 can sometimes be a challenge as I have absolutely no personal experience with sibling relationships, but I did manage to survive not only the terrible twos, but having 3 teenagers in the house at the same time! Of course, every day was a learning experience for me, but as one of 3 herself, Susie has always been there to tell me when to worry and when the latest "disaster" was just normal for a family with 3 kids! So they went from babies to little kids to teenagers to college kids and now to adults! I don't know where the time went or how they got so old so fast, but I am very proud of the people they have become and how they are living their lives. Take our middle child, our daughter Krissi. She's one of our twins – the "older sister" of Kenny by 2 minutes, and as I use to tell her when she was little, "my favorite daughter". Of course, as our only girl, she is my only daughter, so really had a leg up on being my "favorite daughter"! She has been a fighter since the day she and Kenny were born! They were supposed to show up just before Christmas but we always say Krissi was tired of waiting to see the world and they were born 5 weeks prematurely on November 20th. At 4:13 PM at Winthrop Hospital in Mineola, our second child was born and I became the father of a daughter! Early that evening, after the two of them were safely in Winthrop's Neonatal Intensive Care unit, I was standing over my very small but beautiful daughter looking at one of the two miracles we'd been blessed with that day. Suddenly this little baby reached out with her tiny hand and grabbed by finger and squeezed it. I've always felt that with that one little action, Krissi was telling me to tell Mom that she and Kenny were fine and that they'd be home with us for Christmas of 1986! That first month was a hard one for our family. As with all preemies, Krissi and Kenny lost weight, then Susie was diagnosed with a strep infection and couldn't see her two new borns till it was cleared up. Krissi was a little bigger and healthier than her brother so I was able to take her out of her crib and we'd spend hours sitting by Kenny's incubator. She weighed so little that I could hardly even feel her in my arms, but in those hours we sat watching her brother I talked to my daughter. I told her of my love for her and of her Mother and our dreams for her and our love for our newly enlarged family. That first week was a long one and because Neonatal Intensive Care was still off limits to Susie, Krissi and I spent a lot of time together. Well, Susie's strep infection cleared up and she was finally able to spend time with Krissi and Kenny. They got bigger and healthier and after 3 weeks our daughter came home . Several days before Christmas, 1986 Kenny came home and our family of 5 was together for our first Christmas. Hard to believe that in just a little more than a month, it will be 24 years since that fateful time in our lives. When I think back on the time Krissi and I spent in Winthrop's Neonatal unit and then look at the talented young woman my daughter is today, I wonder where the ensuing 24 years went. She grew up as all kids do, and as all kids, she changed along the way, but so much of the pride I feel in being her father today I felt on that day in 1986 when she first squeezed my finger. Krissi is a passionate young lady who I am very proud to call my daughter. She has always cared for the underdog and has worked towards elevating their position. She is a good and caring friend who takes care of those she loves – be they family or friends. Now…do we always get along? Ah, no…but Susie says that's because Krissi and I are very alike (a claim that I know she won't like to hear). Krissi decided a long time ago that her mission in life is to help people. After graduating from Clark University with a BA in Women's Studies and a BA in Sociology, she came home and took some time to figure out a plan….and figure out she did! First she started to look for an internship in the non-profit field. She got a connection and found a great internship at the Human Services Council of NYC. At the same time she got a part time job at a local cardiologist's office. Between the two positions she worked 5 days a week and was learning a lot both places. After a couple of months at the Doctor's office, she was asked what it would take for them to get her to work there full time. She was applying to graduate schools at this point, so the prospect of a full time job with vacation and benefits seemed like a good mix. She decided that working at this local Doctor's office and going for a Master's of Public Administration degree at C.W. Post was the way to go, and so she made it happen. When Krissi started talking about graduate school we sat down and talked and I told her that as much as I'd love to be able to do it, as she was one of three and as I was still paying off the balance of a couple of college tuitions, graduate school would be on her nickel. Luckily, Krissi is the one of our three kids who is a good money manager and with my help she applied for and got loans to cover a large percentage of the tuition. Krissi is now in her second year of graduate school and although she occasionally gets a little nuts with school work and real work and trying to have a life too, by in large she is handling it great. We are very proud of the effort she puts into everything she does and it pays off. She has constantly advanced at her job and she has been very successful at school. She's learned that the juggling act called being an adult is not always easy but that with planning and work, you can do it all! My daughter Krissi is no longer that little baby or even the cute little girl she was…even if that seems like just a few years ago. She is a mature, responsible woman who has a head on her shoulders, a huge heart, and a desire to make the world a better place. I have no doubt that Krissi will be a very successful woman and that along the way she will make the lives of many others better. No matter how old she gets or how successful she becomes in life, she will always be my little girl. I think I knew early on the evening of November 20, 1986 that my middle child was going to have a mind of her own, but during the last 24 years I've also learned that she's got a huge heart, a stubborn streak, and a real desire to do the right thing. She is a beautiful, smart, resourceful, caring young woman and I hope she knows how proud I am of her, her choices, and the person she's become!