Our Children – Part 1

Children are one of the true joys of life. They also can be a source of angst, frustration, pride and every other emotion that can exist between 2 human beings! Susie and I are very blessed to have 3 great kids. It's amazing how different they are, and yet how similar. How each of them has a different direction in life and goes their own way, but how connected they are. As an only child, being the father of 3 can sometimes be a challenge as I have absolutely no personal experience with sibling relationships, but I did manage to survive not only the terrible twos, but having 3 teenagers in the house at the same time! Of course, every day was a learning experience for me, but as one of 3 herself, Susie has always been there to tell me when to worry and when the latest "disaster" was just normal for a family with 3 kids! So they went from babies to little kids to teenagers to college kids and now to adults! I don't know where the time went or how they got so old so fast, but I am very proud of the people they have become and how they are living their lives. Take our middle child, our daughter Krissi. She's one of our twins – the "older sister" of Kenny by 2 minutes, and as I use to tell her when she was little, "my favorite daughter". Of course, as our only girl, she is my only daughter, so really had a leg up on being my "favorite daughter"! She has been a fighter since the day she and Kenny were born! They were supposed to show up just before Christmas but we always say Krissi was tired of waiting to see the world and they were born 5 weeks prematurely on November 20th. At 4:13 PM at Winthrop Hospital in Mineola, our second child was born and I became the father of a daughter! Early that evening, after the two of them were safely in Winthrop's Neonatal Intensive Care unit, I was standing over my very small but beautiful daughter looking at one of the two miracles we'd been blessed with that day. Suddenly this little baby reached out with her tiny hand and grabbed by finger and squeezed it. I've always felt that with that one little action, Krissi was telling me to tell Mom that she and Kenny were fine and that they'd be home with us for Christmas of 1986! That first month was a hard one for our family. As with all preemies, Krissi and Kenny lost weight, then Susie was diagnosed with a strep infection and couldn't see her two new borns till it was cleared up. Krissi was a little bigger and healthier than her brother so I was able to take her out of her crib and we'd spend hours sitting by Kenny's incubator. She weighed so little that I could hardly even feel her in my arms, but in those hours we sat watching her brother I talked to my daughter. I told her of my love for her and of her Mother and our dreams for her and our love for our newly enlarged family. That first week was a long one and because Neonatal Intensive Care was still off limits to Susie, Krissi and I spent a lot of time together. Well, Susie's strep infection cleared up and she was finally able to spend time with Krissi and Kenny. They got bigger and healthier and after 3 weeks our daughter came home . Several days before Christmas, 1986 Kenny came home and our family of 5 was together for our first Christmas. Hard to believe that in just a little more than a month, it will be 24 years since that fateful time in our lives. When I think back on the time Krissi and I spent in Winthrop's Neonatal unit and then look at the talented young woman my daughter is today, I wonder where the ensuing 24 years went. She grew up as all kids do, and as all kids, she changed along the way, but so much of the pride I feel in being her father today I felt on that day in 1986 when she first squeezed my finger. Krissi is a passionate young lady who I am very proud to call my daughter. She has always cared for the underdog and has worked towards elevating their position. She is a good and caring friend who takes care of those she loves – be they family or friends. Now…do we always get along? Ah, no…but Susie says that's because Krissi and I are very alike (a claim that I know she won't like to hear). Krissi decided a long time ago that her mission in life is to help people. After graduating from Clark University with a BA in Women's Studies and a BA in Sociology, she came home and took some time to figure out a plan….and figure out she did! First she started to look for an internship in the non-profit field. She got a connection and found a great internship at the Human Services Council of NYC. At the same time she got a part time job at a local cardiologist's office. Between the two positions she worked 5 days a week and was learning a lot both places. After a couple of months at the Doctor's office, she was asked what it would take for them to get her to work there full time. She was applying to graduate schools at this point, so the prospect of a full time job with vacation and benefits seemed like a good mix. She decided that working at this local Doctor's office and going for a Master's of Public Administration degree at C.W. Post was the way to go, and so she made it happen. When Krissi started talking about graduate school we sat down and talked and I told her that as much as I'd love to be able to do it, as she was one of three and as I was still paying off the balance of a couple of college tuitions, graduate school would be on her nickel. Luckily, Krissi is the one of our three kids who is a good money manager and with my help she applied for and got loans to cover a large percentage of the tuition. Krissi is now in her second year of graduate school and although she occasionally gets a little nuts with school work and real work and trying to have a life too, by in large she is handling it great. We are very proud of the effort she puts into everything she does and it pays off. She has constantly advanced at her job and she has been very successful at school. She's learned that the juggling act called being an adult is not always easy but that with planning and work, you can do it all! My daughter Krissi is no longer that little baby or even the cute little girl she was…even if that seems like just a few years ago. She is a mature, responsible woman who has a head on her shoulders, a huge heart, and a desire to make the world a better place. I have no doubt that Krissi will be a very successful woman and that along the way she will make the lives of many others better. No matter how old she gets or how successful she becomes in life, she will always be my little girl. I think I knew early on the evening of November 20, 1986 that my middle child was going to have a mind of her own, but during the last 24 years I've also learned that she's got a huge heart, a stubborn streak, and a real desire to do the right thing. She is a beautiful, smart, resourceful, caring young woman and I hope she knows how proud I am of her, her choices, and the person she's become!

Family Time

One of the things that happen as kids grow up, is that the time the family spends together is greatly reduced. Dinners around the kitchen table, vacation and weekend trips, hanging out at school events, and even shopping for clothes are no longer the way of life. What was once the most normal of things, is now a very occasional event. I guess in our case, it first started to come apart when Billy went off to college. Being four years older than Kenny and Krissi, he was starting at Ithaca College as they were starting at Mineola High School. At twelve years old, the "twins" didn't have driver's licenses nor lives of there own, and that fall, we suddenly went from a family of five to a party of four. As the years progressed, "family time" became a dim memory, and now that we are the parents of an almost twenty-eight year old, and two almost twenty-four year olds, the times the five of us are together are far and few between. The latest episode of the D'Elia Family's Family Time came Columbus Day weekend in beautiful downtown Janesville, Wisconsin – the garden spot of the Mid-West! Why, you may ask, did we choose this particular location? Well, youngest son Kenny (the actor) is starring as Sammy in "The Wedding Singer" at the Armory in Janesville, and like last spring, when the whole family rendezvoused in Philly when Kenny and the National Tour of 'Annie" was in town, we took this opportunity to combine a family weekend with seeing Kenny's show! On Saturday morning our group assembled at LaGuardia airport. Susie, twin sister Krissi, older brother Billy, Billy's girlfriend Lori, and I boarded an 8AM United flight at LaGuardia and were on our way to O'Hare in Chicago. After a couple hour flight to Chicago, it was a Hertz car and an hour and a half drive to Janesville. Kenny had a matinee on Saturday afternoon, so we took the opportunity to lunch at a Fuddruckers that was just down the road from our hotel. When the kids were little, trips to the Fuddruckers across from Eisenhower Park was almost a weekly occurrence. Everyone has missed those trips since that location closed, so it was fun to be in Wisconsin and relive what was indeed a real part of our kids' childhood! Once Kenny finished his performance, he drove over to the hotel and our family group was complete. The times we live in are the easiest there have ever been to stay in touch, and we all have been in contact with Kenny since he went to Wisconsin in August, but there is nothing that equals seeing your son in real life, in the same time zone, state, city and room! Cell phones, email, and texting are a great way to stay in touch, but nothing they do can compare with a hug! Having the whole family together is just a very special thing, and if it necessitated a trip from Long Island to Wisconsin, so be it! So once the hugs and greetings were taken care of, Kenny decided that he needed some groceries. What better thing to do with your Mom and Dad then take them to the local grocery store…where they might even pay for the groceries! Now going to the grocery store in the NY Metro area and going in Wisconsin are two different things! This store was huge! Aisle after aisle of all kinds of food - and that was after we'd already explored the warehouse sized liquor store that was attached! The best was the cheese section. I say section and not aisle as here in the Cheese Head Capital of the World, Wisconsin, the cheese department went literally for blocks! Incredible selection and incredible prices! So after spending about $150 for groceries, we left to get ready for that night's show. The Armory was just that till a couple of years ago. It was converted into a dinner theater and restaurant/lounge. The "theater" is now what was the drill hall in the center of the building, and it was good to see an old building that has some local history still being put to good use. As to the show, "The Wedding Singer"…well, if you've seen the Adam Sandler movie then you know what the basic plot is. Kenny is Sammy, Robbie's best friend and the bass guitar player in his band. Taking place in 1980s New Jersey, Kenny had some incredible costumes and a long mullet wig. The whole show was great, and they are a very talented group of performers. How was Kenny? Well, speaking with total objectivity and not at all remembering that I am his father and have loved him since before he was born, HE WAS INCREDIBLE!!! This is Kenny's first professional "starring" role, and he handed it wonderfully. I said to Susie after the show that it was so nice to see Kenny not take the first curtain call, as he has done many times in the past as a member of the ensemble. So, after the show, our instructions were to hurry into the Bunker Lounge and get a table for that night's after-show Cabaret, staring the cast of "The Wedding Singer." We did, and again we were not disappointed. The theme for the night was "Typed Out – Songs I'll Never get to Sing", and basically were performances that for whatever reason (sex, age, race, type, etc.), the performer would never be able to sing on stage. We were treated to 7 or 8 great performances by many of the talented cast of the show. Kenny was announced as having just completed two years on the National Tour of "Annie", and then did a comedic version of "Tomorrow." It was great, as were all the performances including the finale which was all the girls in the cast, as "The Jersey Girls" singing a five minute medley of the Four Season's hits! A lot of fun and well appreciated by the audience. After the cabaret, it was time for a trip around the corner to a Janesville Irish Pub where we bought the family and the cast a drink or two. What a great night…both seeing Kenny and his show, meeting his new theatrical family, and doing it with our whole family! The next day the six of us headed up to Madison, Wisconsin in the 86 degree temperatures and had a great afternoon exploring the many stores on State Street. Yes, there were a few brews consumed too, and we even had our first exposure to fried cheese curds!! Another great day, but when your kids are in their 20s, any day that you all get to spend together is a great day! As I said in the beginning, when what was once the most normal of things is now a very occasional event, you need to enjoy and be thankful for every one of them! We are…both thankful that we like the three adults our kids have become, that we like spending time with them, (and their significant others and their friends!) and that we get to have these Family Weekends!

September 29th

Today is one of, if not the most important day of my life. I say that because on the afternoon of Saturday September 29th in 1979, Susie and I stood on the altar of the Interfaith Chapel at C.W. Post College. 31 years ago today we said our "I dos" and started out on our great adventure! And what an adventure it has been!

I feel that I was truly blessed to find my soul mate and to have spent the last 31 years in the most incredibly magical relationship. You see, we have discovered over the years that we have a different relationship than a lot of married folks we know. We would rather be with each other than with anyone else, and so we do (it seems in comparison) an incredible amount of "stuff" together. Whether it's the mundane stuff like going to the cleaners or to pick up Chinese takeout, or the big stuff like taking kids to college, we are together in it. Go on vacation without the other?? Not gonna happen with us!

We met 33 years ago, on July 3rd, 1977 at a Fourth of July barbeque at mutual friends. It was a set up from the get go as the wife of the couple worked at the hospital with Susie and I had worked with the husband for years. We later found out that getting the two of us together was the major theme of the event, so I guess you could say it was a success! Susie had some fireworks she'd bought visiting her aunt in North Carolina and it was my task to try and set them off! They were duds, but it turned out we were not!

A couple of days after the party we went out with the couple who'd set us up. We spent the day on the boat I had at the time, went out for Chinese food and then played miniature golf. At dinner my fortune cookie said, "You will marry your current lover and be happy". I think fortune cookies were much more perceptive back in the 70s! Well, the cookie was right because I think it was pretty obvious that it was love at first sight for the two of us! I remember the summer of 1977 for two things….the bad thing was there was a NABET strike at ABC that kept us out of work at WABC for almost 6 months. The good thing was that I met Susie and because of the strike, there was lots of time to get to know her better (so perhaps in retrospect, there were two good things to remember from the summer of 77)! That was the beginning and, as they say, the rest is history…and what a history it's been! I asked her to marry me on Christmas, 1978 and then it was the whirlwind that took us Saturday September 29, 1979.

When I started this blog I said that I'd written for years but that there was no consistency to my writing. That is very true, but for one area. You see, for years and years, Susie has not only been the biggest fan of my writing, but also my most consistent reader! I'm not sure when exactly I started doing this (after 31 years some things do fade into the murky part of the brain) but she has been the recipient of my writing on all holidays. From Christmas to her birthday, from Mother's Day to Valentine's Day and all the holidays in between, just giving a card is not enough. On every occasion that a card (or multiple cards in our house) is given, at least one of my cards to Susie has a note in it. It started out with a hand written message but over the years it has grown and now it is typed into the computer and printed out. At least one of every batch of cards I buy Susie is selected with this note in mind. Does it have a nice blank page, is it sized right, will there be a good way to attach my musings to the card….these are all now standard considerations.

So I guess over the years, those card messages have been my most consistent form of writing and Susie my most consistent (or should I say only) reader. She tells me that she has saved them all over the years and one day is going to organize them into a book. I tell her that it will probably be a very boring book because I'm sure I've repeated themes and perhaps even whole passages over the years (I never look back at prior years so I have no idea) but she insists that they are still great. Perhaps that was my blog to Susie before the word blog was even invented! Whatever it is, it has always been a labor of love and a way for me to tell Susie just how special she is to me and how much I cherish our relationship and our life together!

Now some people might just say that we were lucky that we met but I cannot just ascribe it to that. To me it was too perfect to have just been a fluke. Honestly, from the moment we met, we both felt like we'd known each other forever. If you believe in reincarnation, perhaps we were together in another life. Perhaps we have known each other forever! Whatever it is, I have trouble believing it wasn't part of a grand plan and so I replace the word luck with the word bless. I was truly blessed to find the love of my life and we have been blessed for the last 31 years!

Blessing #2 was Billy. 4 years later blessings #3 and #4 showed up when Krissi and Kenny arrived. Wrap them all up with a big bow and you have the blessed life that our last 31 years have been! We've had lots of dreams along the way and amazingly the vast majority of them have come true. That's why Susie is sure we will win the Mega Millions (or Powerball) lottery one of these days too!

So there you have it, the reason that this day is so special and indeed is the anniversary of day that my life really started! 31 years ago today with those two simple words, "I do" my life truly started and what had come before was just preparation. So a big thank you to Maryanne and Bill for that 4th of July party and to the man upstairs for putting my Susie on this earth. And thanks Susie for saying yes and for the most perfect 31 years and life that anyone could ever have. 31 years seems like a long time and when you think back to all that we've done it really does, but in so many other ways it just seems like a blink of the eye! It ain't over yet, and as the Carpenters sang a long time ago, "We've only just begun".

PS – As well as being the love of my life, Susie is also my copy editor. Because of the nature of this blog entry, I am working without a safety net on this one. This entry is a byproduct of me and me alone, so if there are any weird spellings or a comma out of place, or a sentence that doesn't make sense, it's all me! So Happy Anniversary to my Susie and I promise you'll get to proofread everything else! To my readers, thanks for your patience….

Attitude

Attitude – both yours and other's – a huge part of life!

One definition of the word attitude is, "a hypothetical construct that represents an individual's degree of like or dislike for an item". Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist of the 20th century, defines attitude as a "readiness of the psyche to act or react in a certain way". For most of us, attitude is defined as just how pissed we get by the way other people treat us! On a daily basis, we both give, and get attitude, and how we react plays a huge part in how our day goes.

Let's look at what happens in the work place that affects your attitude. You get a new boss who really doesn't know how to do their job, and has no idea what your job is, and what their job's relationship is to your job. You have no respect for them, and you constantly question (to yourself or your co-workers) what exactly they do based on the amount of jobs they pass along. Oh yeah, that's a great attitude builder!

Or maybe you get along well with your boss, and every time you complete a project, they praise your work and stroke your ego by telling you how important you are. Sounds good, right? Well it is…up to a point. What happens when this same person who singles you out with praise, then lumps you in with a bunch of other folks who you work with, and treats you like you are just one of the group? Even worse, what happens when some of these others get perks that you don't?? Have they ever heard the phrase, "actions speak louder than words"?

And it's not just your supervisors who affect your attitude…how about these co-workers? Let's start with the one who you are always doing for, but who never seem to pay you back? Some people are just takers and you really can't expect them to repay the kindness. If you do, you are going to fall hard! Or how about the co-worker who really has no idea what your job is, but is very quick to throw you and what you do, under the bus. What is it with folks who don't know what you do all day, but are always happy to demean you and your part of the work puzzle? Or how about the new guy who acts like you have no idea how to do something you've done for years. Rather than tap your body of knowledge, they go elsewhere and it ends up being the blind leading the blind! Now that can really fry your attitude!

And it's not just at work…what about on the way to or from work? Is there someone on the train who acts like they are at home, playing their IPod as loud as possible, or talking on their cell phone? Have you had someone cut in front of you or push you out of the way on the subway platform? Or how about the driver who cuts you off making you wonder if they got their license at the K-Mart down the street, or if they even have one?? And you're not even at home yet!

How about after you are finally in your "castle" and on opening the mail find a bill from someone who threatens to turn off your electricity (or phone, cable, water, gas, etc.) because they haven't gotten a payment you know you made! Do you really want to attempt to get through their voice prompt system to a human being, or are you pissed off enough already? Let's not even get into what your family can do to you. Kids can push all the right buttons and yep, there goes your attitude!

So here we are, the nice guy or girl who starts out their day just wanting to get through it, and all you've done is dodge attitude from others all day. Bosses, co-workers, family and lots of folks you don't even know, have conspired to ruin your day, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it! Or is there?

Whenever I get smacked down by the forces of life, I think back to a book I read a long time ago by a pop-self help guru, Wayne Dyer. The book was called "Pulling Your Own Springs", and in big letters on the cover of the book, right under the title, were the following words, "Dynamic techniques for dealing with other people and living your life as you choose". An interesting thought…..

He starts right off in the introduction to the book which is titled, "The Philosophy of Non-Victimization", and goes on from there. His theory is that we don't have to let other people and their attitudes change the way we want to live our life. We don't have to let other people "pull our strings", because only we are in control of our life! If you say, "God, does Jane piss me off", you are wrong. Dyer says that Jane does not piss you off, but rather that YOU allow Jane to piss you off! So ultimately WE are in control of our attitude!

So what do you do? Well, according to this philosophy, other's attitude and actions towards you will not control your attitude UNLESS you let it. Is it easy to keep this control? Absolutely not! By far the easiest thing to do is to fall into the trap. To play the "poor me" card and become the victim. But again, you let yourself be the victim, and only you have the power to do that. So don't!

Look, you may not like the way some folks treat you at work, but if you are like me, until you win the Mega Millions Lottery, you need to keep working. The commute or your situation at home may not be perfect either, and it all affects you. I don't know about you, but I'm not the kind of person who can go someplace every day and hate it. So I think back to this book and try (and some days I am more successful than others) not to let others pull my strings. It's not easy in a lot of ways, but I find that life is easier if you keep a positive attitude. Some days this is even harder as others try to pull you into their funk and get you to share the victim attitude, but you just have to remember that YOU are in control of YOU! You may think that this is a real Pollyanna attitude and unrealistic, but think about it…if these folks piss you off, who suffers? YOU!!! If you don't let yourself get pissed off, you don't suffer!

So my advice to you (and to me because we always have to self reinforce this kind of attitude), is to not let others get inside of your head. You are ultimately in control of your attitude, and life is much nicer when you realize that! As Wayne Dyer might say, "Don't let others pull your strings". You may have also heard it expressed another way, and that works for me too. Simply put, "Don't let the assholes get you down!"

NY World's Fair

The first act of this story happened before I was born. I'm speaking of the 1939-1940 New York World's Fair at Flushing Meadow Park in Queens. The purpose of that fair was to help lift the city and the country out of the great depression, and it was the first fair to look to the future with it's slogan, "Dawn of a New Day". It took place on 1,216 acres of former ash dump, that after the fair would be turned into a city park (This was the same ash dump that F. Scott Fitzgerald's characters passed through on the train ride from West Egg to Manhattan). As a kid growing up in Queens, I knew the park (in fact I'd even skated at the ice rink in one of the surviving buildings from the '39 fair, the New York City Pavilion) and had heard stories of the fair from my father.

Turn the clock ahead to the late 50s and a group of businessmen, who had fond memories of the 1939 Fair, and wanted the same kinds of experiences for their children and grandchildren. The result was the 1964/65 New York World's Fair. If you read the history of this fair today, you will discover that there were all kinds of problems associated with it right from the beginning. Money was, of course, a huge problem, as was sanctioning from the Bureau of International Expositions. But to a group of teens who lived literally down the street from the fair, all that we cared about was that for two summers we'd be blocks away from a huge playground of the future! Even better was the fact that Walt Disney had signed on to design the exhibits in a number of pavilions, so this would indeed be our East Coast Disneyland.

When the New York World's Fair opened in April of 1964, I was a 14 year old boy who lived in Queens just 5 subway stops away on the #7 train. The brand new Fair Subway Special subway cars were our gateway to a place that we would know like the back of our hands by the closing day in October of 1965. The "we" I refer to were my best friends Richard, David and myself, and over the next two fair seasons we spent over 100 days at the fair's Flushing Meadow Park site. Richard and I took the #7 train to the fair, but got on at different stops. In the days before cell phones, we'd try to hook up on the subway, but if we missed each other, we'd meet up at the fair stop. The third member of our group, David, lived on the other side of the park and would come in the Rodman Street entrance, and then the three us would meet up at the Unisphere.

The fair, with the slogan Peace through Understanding, had lots of incredible cultural happenings during it's two years, such as the ability to view Michelangelo's Pieta at the Vatican Pavilion, but the favorites of the three of us were the pavilions of the Industrial area. We knew the song from the Pepsi Pavilion ("It's a Small World After all"…come on, sing along), enjoyed GE's Progressland (which you can still visit in Disney World as the Carousel of Progress), and had even seen Mr. Lincoln talking to us at the Illinois Pavilion (well, when Mr. Lincoln worked!). Thanks to Mr. Disney and others, the 1964/65 World's Fair was a real showcase of new ideas, new products and new ways of doing things! The perfect playground for three teenage boys! Our days started early and didn't end till we'd watch the fountain-and-fireworks show every night at 9 p.m. at the Pool of Industry, just outside the Scott Paper pavilion.

At the Bell System pavilion we got to see and use touch tone phones for the first time. At the IBM Pavilion we loved the way the theater slid up into the huge egg, and we learned about the future of computing. We signed up for pen pals at the Parker Pen pavilion, and looked at the contents of a new time capsule at the Westinghouse pavilion - a match to the one Westinghouse had sunk in the ground at the same spot at the 1939 Fair. We enjoyed the chemical magic show at the Dupont pavilion, got to use a microwave oven for the first time, and even got to taste Belgian Waffles and have chicken chow mein in bowls made of fried noodles! But, as full-fledged car nuts already, many of our days were spent across the Grand Central Parkway from the main fair in the Transportation area.

I remember the Chrysler Pavilion, and getting our first up close look at the Chrysler Turbine Car in its incredible copper color with decidedly Thunderbird design influences. I remember seeing the automotive near future at the General Motors Futurama Pavilion - although I am still waiting for the roadways they claimed we'd have by the year 2000 that would have imbedded control strips in the pavement that would allow drivers to sit back and relax with their passengers while the road controlled the cars! As a died in the wool Ford Fan, I especially remember the Ford Rotunda!

I remember walking up and seeing the Mustangs (which were introduced to the world at that fair) on the carousels outside the pavilion as we waited to get on the ride. As "World's Fair Experts", we were partial to pavilions that had continually moving rides as the line went faster than did those with theater style exhibits. This was how the folks at Disney had constructed the Magic Skyway, so Ford was one of our favorites, and it was one we went to almost every time we were at the fair! The ride started you out in the past - as far back as the dinosaurs - giving you a look at the history of transportation, starting with the invention of the wheel, and then moving you through the present into the future. Of course, the best part of the ride was that, unlike the GM pavilion where you sat in a moving chair, at Ford, you took your ride through time in a Ford Motor Company convertible!

There were lots of family groups going to the fair, so they were often put in one of the big Ford convertibles such as the full size Ford, Mercury or Lincoln cars. As three teenage boys, more often then not, we got one of the smaller cars, like a Falcon convertible or one of the Mustangs. I have to honestly say that from what I remember, the ride was good in a typical Disney way, but it was the ride in a new Ford convertible that kept us coming back! Once you were finished with the ride, there were still lots of Ford cars to see, and even sit in, and of course, the Ford Rotunda state pin to take home as a souvenir!

One of our saddest days was our visit to the fair the day it closed for good, October 17, 1965. It, of course, included a visit to our favorite pavilion, the Ford Rotunda. For three young teenage boys from Queens, the two years since the April 1964 opening had been magical. We always had a destination, and a way to have fun and explore, and at a $2 entrance fee, for not a lot of money. I remember that last day that folks all over the park were taking souvenirs, and that many of the knobs were missing from the Ford cars on the Magic Skyway. Over 40 years later, the memories I have of those two summers spent with my two best friends are some of the best souvenirs I could have. It may also be why my 2000 Mustang convertible is my pride and joy, and my own Magic Skyway vehicle!

WMCA Good Guys

In the 1960s, in New York Radio, WMCA was truly the "Little Radio Station that Could!" In the new "Top 40" radio format, it was the little 5,000 watt station that was 50,000 watt WABC's chief competitor. If as Avis said for many years, #2 had to just try harder, then no one tried any harder that the WMCA Good Guys to put their station over the top. Under the direction of legendary Program Director Ruth Meyer, the DJs at WMCA were everywhere promoting their station and extending what they did on the air to their listeners. While WABC had a huge signal, WMCA and the Good Guys owned many parts of New York City where they had a very good signal. During my time in New York radio, I have been very lucky to work with most of the Good Guys, just not at WMCA.

Most of my introductions came at 1050 WHN in New York where I was hired as an engineer in March of 1972. I graduated from college in June of 1971, and the following fall entered ATS's FCC Exam Prep course and started studying for my First Class Radio Telephone Operators License, which was in those days the entry into most of the New York market's Engineering Departments. Once I completed the course the next spring and passed the FCC tests, with license in hand, I started sending out resumes. One of the best interviews I had was at WHN, and soon after, the Chief Engineer, Pappy Dirkin offered me a job as a vacation relief engineer in their department.

On April 17, 1972 I reported for work, and within a relatively short time of starting my training that day, I was on the air working with a disc jockey! In 1972, WHN's format was a kind of MOR blend in which you might play a Frank Sinatra song, followed by a Herb Albert Tijuana Brass cut, followed by an instrumental. While they did use carts for commercials and some songs, much of the music they played was still via records. In those ancient days of radio, one of the skills you needed was being able to "slip cue" an album. This involved putting the tone arm on the correct cut, and as soon as you heard audio, actually grabbing the surface of the record with your fingers, stopping it, and then backing it up….all with the turntable still spinning underneath the record. Then when you were cued by the DJ you had to let the record go and turn up the audio pot and play the record. If you did it right, there was a seamless start of the record on the air. So I'm sitting on the board in the WHN control room at 400 Park Avenue, trying to grab these records with my nervous sweaty fingers, when this tall man walks into the control room with some papers in his hand. After I start the record, he extends his hand to me and says, "Hi, I'm Jack Spector. These are my music lists and since this is my first day I just wanted to make sure I'd done them correctly." To which I replied, "Beats the shit out of me…it's my first day too!"

Jack had a good laugh out of that, and that was my introduction to Jack Spector, the first of my Good Guys. Jack was a great guy and a lot of fun to work with. He had been everywhere, had done everything, and had great stories, so there was never a dull moment when you worked with Big Jake! A couple of months after we both got there, WHN changed format and became 1050 Country, and shortly after that, I became Jack's regular engineer.

With the change to country also came a new program director, and it was the lady who created the Good Guys, Ruth Meyer. To Ruth, the Good Guys were a Family, and so not only did she come to WHN, but so did a large number of the Good Guys – either in full time rolls, or as weekend guys, or fill in hosts. Over the next couple of years I got to work with Dan Daniel, Joe O'Brien, Dean Anthony, and Ed Baer. Some I got to know very well (Ed Baer was there for a long time and we really became friends out of the station), and others I just worked with for a couple of shifts, but they were all great guys with wonderful stories.

Following what Ruth had done at WMCA, these guys were not just sitting in the studio doing their shows, but they were out in public. We had country shows at area colleges, a big 1050 Country Fair, listener parties at places all over the area, and just about any other kind of promotion that you can think of that showcased the DJs and the station. It was a very interesting experience to be exposed to her and the way she saw a radio station and these guys who were classic radio DJs. The best was being anywhere with a group of them when they'd start to talk about the WMCA days and get into their stories. They were part of a fascinating time in New York Radio, and to hear the stories of these legends that were there was incredible for a young guy just starting in the business!

After 4 years at WHN, I left 1050 and moved down the block and down the dial to WABC (both WABC and WHN's studios were on 54th Street in Manhattan). It was here that I got to know the last piece of my Good Guy Puzzle, Harry Harrison. Having moved right into the WABC Morning Show after leaving WMCA in 1968, Harry was the Morning Mayor of New York. The first morning I was training at WABC, all I had to do was tell Harry that I'd been Jack Spector's Engineer at WHN and had worked for Ruth Meyer, and I was an accepted member of the team!

WMCA's Good Guys were the definition of personality radio. Each of them was different and brought different things to the table, but they were all clearly a part of the team. I was very glad to get to meet and work with so many of them, and get to see what that kind of radio was like. I doubt if it's something we'll ever see again, and in the fractured media world we live in today, that's very understandable, but still sad.

My first Good Guy, Jack Spector died March 8, 1994 while on the air at WHLI on Long Island. Jack had worked a lot of places during his radio career, and as sad as it was that Jack was dead at the young age of 65, I think it was very fitting that he died while on the air doing what he loved. In the words of Jack Spector, your Main Man Jake, "Look out street, here I come!"

September 11th

Anyone who was just about anywhere in the New York Metropolitan area on the morning of September 11, 2001 will always remember that day, and where they were. I know in our family that's the case. My wife Sue was at work at Hampton Street School in Mineola. Our oldest son Billy was in his second year at Ithaca College, and his brother and sister, Krissi and Kenny, were sophomores at Mineola High School. I was at work at WABC Radio, 17 floors above Penn Station.

I remember it was a great looking, if uneventful, September morning. There was just a touch of fall in the air – it was one of those special kinds of days we get after the humidity of summer leaves. I was, as usual, on the 7:24 LIRR train from Mineola to Penn Station. As I said, a totally uneventful September morning in all respects….but that was soon to change.

Shortly after the first plane hit at 8:46 AM, word started to come into the newsroom that a plane had hit the World Trade Center's North Tower. It was primary day in New York, and there were reporters around the city for the various TV morning shows. Almost immediately, Dick Oliver of channel 5 went on the air from Park Row, just outside of City Hall. They weren't the best shots, but you definitely could see the fire and damage to the tower. Everyone assumed that it was a small plane that had hit and no one could understand how someone could have missed seeing a structure as big as the World Trade Center on a beautiful, clear morning. There was speculation of a student pilot, or someone who had a heart attack – just about anything, but what had really happened, which up until that point was unthinkable to most of us.

By 9 o'clock, better pictures of the damage were available on TV, including long shots of the buildings from further uptown. Just before 9:03 AM,I was standing in studio 17E next to Chief Engineer Kevin Plum, when we noticed a plane flying into the frame of the shot. Assuming we were looking at a small plane trying to get a better view of what was happening, one of us commented, "what the heck is that plane trying to do?" At 9:03 we were shocked when we saw that plane (which we later found out was a Boeing 767) crash into the South Tower and explode in a ball of flames. In that moment, everyone who saw that happen live, knew that life as we had known it up until that moment was over, and that there was a brand new reality.

I remember all hell breaking loose at the station as we all went into high gear. There was an incredible amount of misinformation flying around, and frankly, open fear from some. Everyone tried to act professionally, but since no one knew exactly what was going on, and since we were all working 17 floors above Penn Station and a couple of blocks west of the Empire State Building, many wondered if we might be in the target zone too. The next hour was a blur of news reports, discussion and speculation. Shortly after the first plane hit, our morning anchor George Weber took off downtown armed with a cell phone and a recorder. He phoned in a couple of reports about what he was seeing, but as the cell phone system overloaded, we stopped hearing from him. Then at 9:59 AM, the South Tower collapsed. Faces stared at the TV pictures, and as a group, were almost unable to fathom what we'd seen. Less than 30 minutes later the North Tower collapsed, and these twin buildings, which were so identified with the skyline of New York City, were incredibly gone, along with close to 3,000 of our fellow New Yorkers.

So many questions hit us all at once…who would do this, how did it happen, how could these two huge buildings collapse, and one that was on all our minds at WABC, where was George Weber? The news reports continued, but with all the confusion it was hard to tell what was true and what wasn't. Were there more hijacked planes out there, and had other attacks taken place in Washington and elsewhere around the country? Getting a landline phone call was very hard; cell service was pretty non-existent, communications among families and friends was almost impossible. It was over an hour later when we heard from George. He'd walked for blocks from the WTC site and had waited on a line at a pay phone before he was finally able to check in with the station. Okay, we knew one of our friends and coworkers was alive…but what about everyone else.

The day dragged on, and we watched TV as they tried to figure out what had happened, and what was happening. One of the hardest tasks of the day was getting in touch with friends and family, finding out if they were okay, and assuring them that I was fine. The first response of the city was to shut down, and a lot of us wondered how we'd get home. Being above Penn Station, we kept looking down at the crowds milling around a closed Penn Station. We also kept looking a couple of blocks to the east at the Empire State Building and realizing it was once again the tallest building in New York!

Later that day, the Long Island Rail Road started running and those of us from Long Island headed downstairs, and like every other commuter that day, got on any train as long are it was leaving New York City! As we came out of the tunnel into Queens, everyone looked to the south where the twin towers of the World Trade Center had been on the way in that morning, but now were replaced by smoke. It was very quiet in the train as everyone realized that those two buildings we'd seen every day on our commute into Manhattan were gone, along with all the folks who were working in them.

The days after September 11th were very strange to say the least. The fact that there were absolutely no planes in the sky made for a very eerie quiet that was very unlike the norm. I know that for weeks after the planes started flying again, every time one flew over I would find myself stopping and looking at it. Taking the LIRR into the city in the days after September 11th was also different. There was an uneasy quiet on the trains, that I guess came from a lot of folks who would rather be somewhere else, but who had responsibilities and had to do what they were doing. I remember not seeing people that had been regulars on our trains, and wondering if they were in the towers when they came down, or were they perhaps too scared to venture into Manhattan again. Questions I'd never have the answers to….

One thing that made the post 9/11 strangeness livable was the feeling that we were all in it together. There were American flags on houses, cars, businesses…virtually everywhere! Groups were banding together collecting items for families that were affected, or to help rescue workers at Ground Zero. People were friendlier to each other and more respectful…even politicians! From New York City to Washington, the political discourse had a united front. We weren't Republicans or Democrats, Liberals or Conservatives, we were Americans. There was no finger pointing, just everyone shouldering the load and helping to move forward. If every cloud has to have a silver lining, that was September 11th's. Unfortunately, 9 years later, even that's gone.